Wednesday, October 20, 2010

le sigh

so another day has come and gone..and i dare not say that it wasnt worth it because every day is worth it....at 7am this morning a man jumped out of his 11th floor apt window and killed himself. sad....so very,very sad. i appreciate each day the creator has given me and feel blessed to have those in my life that i do.

and not to bitch about my life or anything but i just wish i could find someone stable to see for awhile...the "friend" ive been seeing lately has alot on their plate and honestly i dont feel he has the same intentions as i do...doesnt mean i want to stop anything but i just wish id see more of him....right now i need consistancy on some small level to help repair the lack of such ive had for so long. we get along great and all and we have a ton in common, as well as we both dont want to just jump into something..but i dont see him ever wanting to try to be a couple some day...and thats cool id just like to know so i dont invest too much into something that wont go beyond a friendship....reasonable?

kind of a downer thought to be stuck with before bed....im not very good at "real" flirting but am a pro at the fun kind.....and i dont know how to show interest in someone i like because like most people im afraid of being humiliated and rejected. as ive said before i just want something steady..hell, a few options would be nice...

when did life turn back to high school and when did i become such a pu**y?

what ever happened to the aggressive me? the side that saw something it wanted and went for it regardless of anything?

i think its time to find that confidence and bring it back...damnit im almost 25..im too young to have a life like a country song. im sick and tired of being tired and sick....


time to get out and see whos going to challange me....

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